The City I Have Loved

 I know I am a bit sentimental sometimes. Sometimes emotions get over me and most of the time I let those natural feelings take over my existence. It is part of being human anyways. And as of now I am missing that city I have loved for the past three years; Dammam. The wonderful city that gave me job and lots of food and coffee and friendships to last. The city that made me who I am today. The city that sleeps while I am awake. The city that lingers on my soul when I am weary and on the verge of giving up. And the city that I want to go back to. Dammam!

Decision! Decision!

 For the past three months,I am enjoying my temporary vacation and I am loving it! I am enjoying how much I really need rest as in rest in my own terms. But it doest not mean I am not making any effort to go back to the employment world. I have almost hundred of applications online and via emails. Some responded some do not. And I have two interviews and employment offers but I am still on the decision time phase since there are so many factors to be considered. I have offered in Dammam as a Document Controller, which is my previous job in KSA but the offer is somehow a little bit lower than my previous one. Then another offer is handed to me and it is also in Eastern Province specifically in Jubail. However, a local employment is encouraging me. But then again some factors made me decide to not accept the local one. And now I am on the verge of accepting the Jubail offer or  should I wait for my other applications which might call me this December or January next year. The Jubail offer is for a position of material expeditor and yes I want that material management field of career since I have invested almost 95% of my professional life doing that job.
So please help me, God.

What About Last Night?

The best or worst for the records! And I did it for no reasons at all. I was lied about. It was not solo but group and so be it.

Then almost midnight came..in the desert..something nervous had not come and I did it!

And I slept. Thanks God for the last night. It will never happen again.

Last Night

I was watching Youtube at around 6 pm yesterday when my Lebanese friend chatted me on Tango. He was a businessman here in this country and he was engaged in contracting doors and steel and glass. His latest project which was about to complete was the Red Lobster and Longhorn in Dammam near Shatea Mall.

And so we went there. I loved his management skill as well as his business knowledge in managing his own business. I hope I could have business of my own in teh future.

I was amazed by the elegant design of the two American restaurants. Maybe I could have dinner there when my salary come this end of the month.

So that's it for now and have a nice weekends Dammam!

Lately

Lately I am beginning to learn to grow old as alone. Lately I am beginning to understand that life no matter what will go on and o and on.

Lately I realized that I am the one really in charge of my own happiness and no one will. So I am choosing to be happy everytime.

Lately I am beginning to live the life I wanted to be.

Getting Boring By The Days

Where all of my excitement go? Where all of the fear and happiness now? I do not know. What I know now is I think I am on my deepest setbacks. Or am I? Is this the midlife crisis? I hope not.

Last week I was in Rabigh to teach and demonstrate some of the basic documentation process that we have done in QIPP but to my surprise I was the one being surprised because it only took about four hours of lecturing and much like of an interview of my mission there. I just contemplated on the hotel of what is happening to my life now.

I need a change of place again. New work? I am on the process of applying to other companies that might give me meaning and much more salaries. Am I hungry for power and money and fame? I really do not know. Midlife crisis maybe.

Or should I marry the one? Or should I be forever as single as I am today. I am afraid of my future now.

I hope God is near me. Please.

Follow Your Heart

Sometimes life is an adventure..in reality it is..we are here to explore..we are here know the unknown..to get the trail of the uncharted territories. And we are here to conquer!

Our light is our knowledge. Our strength is our belief. Our life will not be miserable we just follow our path. Even if it is painful at first just follow your heart. Even if it is nonsense just follow your mind.

In the end life's all adventure moments are just like a wonderful stories written by us! So go ahead sail on the ocean. Dive on the deepest part of the sea. Enjoy the scenery. Enjoy the silence. And with yourself once in a while. Lost in a place. Lost in such a way you have to ask for direction. In that way you will learn that life is indeed a communication personally with others. That in order to survive you must ask, that in order to live you must be with the others. And sometimes alone.

Just follow your heart.

Nostalgia

The music is still playing on my head..the 90's Why am I always stuck in the 90's. Grow up? I cannot.
I need to received that letter..but it does not came. No reply. And my heart broke. I was broken. But still I am hoping.

My Books

My companion in times of need..save me a lot in catastrophic events. Made me realized that the world is still wonderful.

I need my books now. I need to re-read them again. I need to learn again. I need those sparks of wisdom from Fromm, from Sartre and Plato. I want to go anywhere with my books. I want to be me. I am with an honest me when I am with my books.

I Miss That

Coffee. Alone. With my camera. Sitting with sense of time. Sipping coffee. With no sense of time.
Time is our enemy. Time is slow. Time is fast, Time is never ending. But we are. We are finite and time is not. But we go along together. Please come with me. Let us drink for life.

Dammam tonight? Let's go!

Take A Walk With Me

Wishing that somewhere will be better..take a walk with me..
Wishing that somewhere there will be no rain..take a walk with me..
Wishing that the climate is clear..take a walk with me..

I cannot say it.. I cannot hear it..screaming from the heart..
Yelling with significant voice..yelling at myself..I need some rest..I need some sleep.
And I cannot sleep nor learn what is happening.Am I right? Am I not insane? Please answer me in whisper.

Oh I almost sleep. What a day!

Technology At Its Best

We sometimes neglect those gadgets. We sometimes take for granted the privilege that we have now. We sometimes are not grateful for all the conveniences that we have now. Our generations previously strive to have a better communication and yet now we have all the advance technology, we sometimes do not appreciate the wonders and magic of the modern telecommunication platforms that enable us to hear and see our nearest family though they are far away.

If I Am Not In Love

What shall I do if I am not in love? I will be nothing. I should love and care. What shall I do if the other does not love me? I will do nothing? I should let go of her? I hope I could do that. I hope  I have the courage to face life without her. Why life and love are like that? Why sometimes we have to suffer? Why sometimes we have to wait for nothing? Or shall we? Answer me please!

Happiness Is Something Felt

And yes I am still happy here. Still I can enjoy the sun and the moon and those little things that truly matters. The smile, the basic necessities, the child-like attitude. All of those conspire to make us happier than ever. So what can you ask for in this life? Maybe you are still in  am  emptiness of your heart. Let time heals it. Let us be busy with our friends. Let us move until we are tired. And most especially let us mingle with our friends! Have fun! have some life!

Life Is Still Wonderful

The sunset..those beautiful setting of the mighty sun..lingering shadow and past of our previous live's. Just waiting there to revive or just let them go..I rather let them go..

- Inspired by this food because food here in the place is not quite delicious as the photo below.

I Still Believed

I might say I am a dreamer. I might say I am wanderer. And I am indeed a traveler. Even at night here in Dammam I have managed to escape and tried some of the places of interest that really never failed me to amaze. I have love the twilight and even the broad daylight where I could see the beautiful sunset and some unusual sightings but nonetheless refreshed my being and soul. Sometimes I cried out and really longed for my hometown. Sometimes I just walked and waited for almost midnight to come home and then go to sleep. Sometimes I ate at very good and expensive restaurant just to pass the time. Sometimes I just go on walking and walking and then go back to our house. Sometimes I just stayed at home and watched saved tv series programs and let me wonder on my life so far. So far so good.

I can still sip and enjoy coffee. I can still call via FB messenger my family. I can still comment and post on Facebook and Instagram. I can still laugh at my own mistakes.I can still eat solo at Applebees. I can still stare at the sky and noticing that an airplane is bound on the airport.  I hope it is December already so that  I could have that much awaited vacation!

And the most important of all; I still believe!

Those Things I Have Pondered Today

Almost everyday when we go home I have this glimpse of  a wonderful sunset in Dammam. I think every sunset is very much beautiful especially when you think that somewhere out there in another place the sun will be shining again and again everyday. It reminds us of the hope and life cycle that we are going through everyday life. It is a constant reminder that still there are wonderful things going on with our life. Life is precious. Life is sacred.

Sometimes when I am alone and bored I go this place called Seiko. It is somehow the center of Dammam but with a local touch. It means that most of the masses or ordinary people gather here and buy merchandise of all kinds. And there is this cheap coffee shop. I go there just to sit and reflect what those people are doing and what have I might missed and think of the future which somehow so unclear. I just think and thanks God that despite everything I am still luckier to some degree as compared to other people. But look at their face! They are so happy and their smile radiant throughout the place.

Looking for another angle I have seen this one. The building was on fire a month ago and I have heard some Filipinos died in that fire. A very sad news. So what will happen to their family in the Philippines? After a week or two many people came and tried to renovate the building. It gives opportunity to have a "dream job" here in Saudi. Thanks God again I have a great job and I really appreciate myself also for such great work that I have here in the desert.

  

A few days ago I have come with this post in Facebook. A familiar "missing advertisement" and when I looked closer I was in shocked! It only validated some doubts and rumors circling around the corners closer to my home. It was a sad story of a daughter looking for his dad who went away for so long but yearly coming back on vacation. One day he did not came back the he decided to leave his family. So the daughter is started to look for her missing dad. In the comment section there are so many give their opinions and assistance on how to find him. But as of now they still have no communication to the missing dad. Actually he is not "missing" in the real sense of the word but he abandoned his family for some reasons we don't know. Maybe he feels "bored" working in a very far away place and wanted some retirement in other place. We can never know his true motivation why he have done something like that.

Delightful In the Middle East

The golden sunset..a taste of pizza..convenience of a city..where else but here in Dammam. I am beginning to enjoy the magnificent country of Saudi. In God's will I can stay here for a longer period. Let us take the ride!

A Visit To Jubail

Still Grateful Of What We Have

Despite the things that are not granted to us..Despite the pain...despite the loss..despite the dreams that are not yet coming through..we are still very thankful..Thank you Lord for all the blessings..for this very life that we have!

Used To Be

Those streets in Adamah district near "Seiko". Those streets where every morning we walked for about 15 minutes for our daily bus ride to work. Those streets where I first think every morning of what to do for the day. Those street and I will seldom walk on them now. I have transferred to a nearer place to the bus pick-up point to save time and energy and the very real reason is that I was left in the house since the 3 housemates I have go to the Philippines for good. Grover is staying in our country to start a new career and business. Ryan on the other hand has his luck in Japan. And Ayie got his job in Batangas again in Siemens. And I am the one being left here that still continuing to struggle despite the loneliness and the eagerness to go home also. But I guess I will spend more of my time here.