Thursday, January 10, 2013

Alone

Last night we had our dinner at Hot & Cold. Nevermind if I did not like the whole array of food or maybe I was looking for some vegetable but to no avail. Blame the place? I guess not since I do not have the control of the venue since I am just "riding it for free" as you know what I mean. So no more complains though I was so full or maybe I was craving for those sea foods in other restaurant. Well I will just wait for another diner maybe after a month or two. Thank you anyways to the persons who paid for our dinner last night.

I will not post the photo I have taken as my two office mates made an amazing pose alongside the very good actor Boyet de Leon. Instead I will focus on myself. I have noticed that I have this photo as solo as no one is besides me. Yes I am still single but it signifies something. That we can stand on our own. In our own decision. And on our own we take responsibility.

Let us give some example that we are indeed alone. At first when I was  born I am alone.I  alone take the first breathe of life. And I alone got the first cry. At school I alone answer the examinations or else I will be branded as cheater and could get me kick out of the school. Our existence is mostly the dealing with ourselves alone. Others are just accessories of our life. Take it or leave it we will die as alone as you and me alike.

I have remembered the very first time that I have learned how to swim. At first my brother and other friends and they already knew how to swim and  always tried to drown me so that they have said  I can easily learn how to swim. I nearly drowned myself alone one time that they left in the middle of a deep portion of the sea just near the shore. I will never forget that. Then I guess I really learned how to swim when we ride at the banca bound for Mindoro and we took a dive and swim far enough to really conquer my fear. It took us about twenty minutes of non-stop swimming and that time I really  can say that I have learned how to swim in the sea of life. Really.

I have remembered also when I have a major surgical operation back in 2001. A benign cyst must be removed from my thorasic portion ( beneath the ribs at the right side of my chest)  and that time I was not afraid. I was never afraid of everything. The operation process began at 6 am when the doctor and nurses came to my room and put me in a cart oh the bed itself was the cart but before that they injected me a medication which calm me I guess. I remembered it so well since it really hurt on my shoulder when they put the injection. Then after several minutes I was in the operating room and I was so calm that time and no nervousness whatsoever. And then my consciousness vanished and all I have remembered was I was in the same room again waking up at around 6 pm. So my mother told me everything that around 10 am that day, the operation was successfully completed and the cyst was removed.

In that moment I have contemplated the situation alone I can die in that instant. Indeed our life is a journey alone though we have so many with us like our family and friends but in the end it is only us who will meet the Creator alone.

So much for the "alone-ness" that I am discussing. For the meantime I will enjoy the company of others. Since I will be with myself forever.

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