Unnecessary? Necessary? Unpopular? Wrong decision? Right decision?
And now I am well-adjusted here. I just want to recall what has happened. I know this is a big ordeal for me and a very life-changing decision but now I am quite happy to be here. I have remembered Ivan from the agency and he insisted to me to think and accept the job offer because it is indeed a very life-changing career move. And I got it. I was decided that time to leave. I consulted almost everyone close to my heart and they say "Yes go ahead". And finally I have asked my self too that question. And no doubt I have to take this opportunity.
And on that fateful Sunday I have photographed the plane that brought us here in the Kingdom. I had time before the flight, to call my Ate Arlyn, Inay and Tiya Empen. Somehow my fear has subsided that time. I was afraid of what is really to see and experience in this country. I was so afraid of the stereotyped and sometimes baseless judgement about working and living in here. Some are true but most are completely lies. I have manage to survive and beginning to enjoy my new life and freedom in this country that sometimes unfairly judged as "freedom-less place". I might say quite the opposite.
Ka Gerry the father of one of my bestfriend and he spend most of his life working here just talked to me via chat on the first week I have been here. He asked and oftentimes quite surprised of my decision. I said primarily it is a choice for me to be able to save more money. It is a choice to fully explore what is truly out there that somehow I know I can see and find here. It is a choice to challenge myself and come face to face to my "un-comfort zone" and learn more by doing so. He said that whatever assistance he could lend just call him. And I will sometimes not to seek help but maybe tell them that indeed this is a wise choice and decision.
However sometimes my mind tricked me. Some negative thoughts just keep on running and somehow got me struck and "blame myself" for this awful decision. Yes I am not ashamed to admit that somehow I cried at night once just to release whatever emotion of loneliness and homesickness is bothering my soul that time. And I was relieved. Afterwards I have begun to see this place as my new Home. My new sacred place where I could start all over again and pick up myself pieces by pieces to reach my goals and dreams!
I know God is very good at all times that he gave me this opportunity not just to earn money but to test and challenge myself of what I am capable of. I know God is always with us to guide and see us through in whatever we are doing in any state of our life.
Just like Inay said before we depart each other at NAIA on that December 15th, " mag-iingat ka at wag na wag makakalimot sa Diyos" - and at that instance my teary eyes just smile and headed bravely to the main door of the airport.
And now I am writing this blog entry with my eyes smiling and thanks God I am here and thanks all the blessings that I've got!